With a newborn in the house, necessity has required us to do things a little differently. While my wife and I both agreed that it was in our best interest to not enforce quiet when the baby is sleeping, there are times when it seems to be our only recourse. When our son is especially persistent, we remain vigilant until he nods off, slowly lower him into his bed, and back away slowly like we just disarmed a nuclear weapon.

So with family visiting this week, it has been extremely hard to keep him asleep for more than ten minutes. It was during one of those breaks, while nearing the containment area, that we requested of our nephew to be extremely quiet. The young gentleman, in his "honest twos", walked a few steps, slipped into a state of deep contemplation, and then whispered, "I don't think I can do that."

"I bet you can," I quickly and quietly responded.

"No, I can't."

While I then fully expected a vocal interpretation of a Sousa march, he admittedly did his best to hold his volume until he made it away from the bedroom. I've also discovered why parents eventually decide to bribe their children.

I know... you wouldn't think I'm a pioneer when you look at me, but you can rest assured that I will be crowned the inventor of the greatest sport ever to be played by mankind. And unfortunately for those equal rights junkies out there, the game, NadBall, can only be played by those with the correct equipment.

It started out as a harmless (OK, not entirely harmless) idea borne from boredom in a hotel room as a kid, when I decided to ball a tube sock and hurl it at my brother's testicles whilst he was unawares. Sure, anyone can throttle the unsuspecting's man-junk and bolt in the seconds to hours of convulsions that are sure to follow. But not I; in a moment of true genius and sportsmanship, allowed him a return free shot. The sports world has never been the same since.

From those first simple games with a sock to my college matchups with varying degrees of Nerf paraphernalia, NadBall has been a sport to inspire fans everywhere to cheer out a resounding "Huh?," or, "You did what?," upon hearing of these fabled contests. The rules were simple, and the damage was immediate and usually hilarious.

Somehow, I lived through college, testicles intact. I was still even able to bear children. Children who will undoubtedly conjure up games to bruise and maim their own genitals. Ah, the circle of life...

But for now, all I can hope to do is to inspire a few other NadBall enthusiasts out there. A few decades down the line maybe it will finally become America's pastime ...or at least a footnote on the theories of Darwinism.